The light went out. I coughed and leaned against the wall in the darkness, trying to shake debris away from my face. The stone of the wall was so icy cold, and it felt like sweat was rising from my body as steam. I never could take using my powers well... my head swam... and I sunk down to the cave floor. My fingers met a puddle of blood, warm and slightly sticky, but not my own. The lights were still out. I kicked weakly at what I assumed to be a large boulder and cursed weakly. I leaned my head against the cave wall... it was so cold against my forehead... my hat fell of... but I was too tired to pick it up. My hair clung to my face with sweat, I imagined the small puffs of smoke coming from my mouth.

I shut my eyes. Maybe I would wake up next to her again. I felt so alive when I woke up the first time with her, my body nearly emptied by my Seishi powers... my lips close to hers... nearly touching, barely not... I felt so alive, so central to humanity, I shared what men over the ages had shared... my shy hints and advances, so small she barely noticed... made me feel so alive. One small smile from her made me want to run into the woods and dance and shriek... to think I once thought she brought only trouble... and death...

I pressed my foot against the boulder again... damn...

All I could do now was wait for her... and the others... to arrive. And dig me out. With some luck I'd awaken in a nice, warm bed... my lips close to hers...
My death, perhaps, was my own fault. Or perhaps it was Hien's.

Losing his arm didn't seem to bother Hien at all... we didn't see him for awhile, that is true, but once he had recovered he was back in full force, harassing us... angry in his own bitchy way about having his arm sliced off. We'd have our fights. He'd show up, harass us for a bit, we'd all bleed a little, then he'd vanish into the darkness, skulking. All the time with that annoyingly bored look on his face. Usually with Shigi with him, annoying in his own girly-man way.

This last time he had been trying to ambush us. I was scouting ahead, for a cave for us to stay the night in. A simple enough task. But Hien... Hien had the same idea. After all, if he wanted to kill us, what better way than to scout out all the places we would be looking for?

When I found him he was already in the cave. Shigi was missing, oddly enough. I don't remember what happened... it all blends together...
My fingers twitched slightly. His blood, pooling on the cave floor, was sticking to my fingers... stiffening... clotting... the blood was cold now... I moved my hand to loosen the blood and when I replaced it my fingers met his, severed and crushed, sticking out from under the boulder. I did not have the energy to recoil. The air felt so heavy. I wore myself out, trying to freeze him... trying to stop him... trap him... use the ice as a wedge in a crack in the granite ceiling above him... bring the world down upon him...

It worked. Maybe too well. My fingers tingled with the remainants of the ice. I felt numb all over. My fingers twitched again. More blood. And darkness. Before the world was dimly lit... now I saw nothing. Only endless darkness. A night sky without stars. I kept wishing, hoping, straining, dreaming, that Takiko would come... and light up my sky with stars... but she had her man in the other world. And why would she care about me?

I couldn't feel my feet anymore. I struggled to move my foot. No luck. It was so dark, and the air so heavy... several times had I considered lighting something... something... I didn't know what, I had no torch... I considered lighting some of my arrows, they were wood, for light so I could find a way to move the rocks I had let down to kill Hien... but first I was too lightheaded and drained to do it, and now I couldn't move.
I drifted off into a heavy sleep. Perhaps it was all my fault.When I awoke there was light. The air felt fresh against my skin. I was outside. Snow stung my back through my layers. Takiko was staring at me. Her eyes were strange... hollow... empty... I struggled to sit up, to tell her... sorry... sorry for the sight you had to see... I know to get me out you all had to see Hien... crushed... and horrible... all my fault... or all his... the bastard... he deserved his death... but you did not have to see him... crushed and bloody... a pulp...

But I could not sit. My body felt empty. I still could not move my foot. Not even my foot. I tried to twitch my finger, it refused. The world felt white.

She took me into her arms. She was so warm. I felt my skin drawing warmth out of her, just like cold fingers draw the life out of warm, rosy cheeks... I felt like I was walking into a warm hut after being out in a snowdrift. I was so close to her. I longed to wrap my arms around her... but they trailed limply along the ground... I longed to tell her I loved her... but my lips remained silent...

Her face was against mine. My lips were so close to hers. I longed to kiss her. My lips touched her cheek. They were salty and wet.

I noticed Inami in the background. She was wringing my hat in her hands. She shouldn't do that, it'll make it sag... She said something, but I heard no words. Her mouth moved, but I heard nothing.

Even so, Takiko felt so warm against me. I closed my eyes and drifted back into my deep night sky.
It was dark. My night sky would never end. I clawed at air. My eyes would not open. I could hear Takiko's soft voice in my ear... but I could not tell what she said. Everything blurred together into a soft murmur, a heartbeat, the wind rustling through the trees...

In my nighttime sky I would stumble. I found a few patches of light, and ventured out, but oddly I could not go too far. I was in a cave, I realized. A vast network of caves. For awhile I wandered around, my eyes adjusting to the darkness, calling for the others... when I found noone, and could not escape the caves, despite being at the entrance to one, I cursed and screamed... but there were no echoes... I kicked at the stones... but there was no pain...

All in all, it took me a week to realize I was dead.
I was invisible. I was nothing. I would sit in my night sky and dream of stars. If only I had kissed her, I would think. If only I had let her know. If only... then I would not be here... in limbo... worse than dead... and alone...Once, a small girl wandered into one of my caves... in Mt. Black. I tried to help her... lead her out... but she was scared of my voice, and my fingers passed through her... the chill terrified her... so I sat and watched as she froze to death... she curled up... sobbing... and fell into a deep sleep.

She looked so peaceful. I sat near her and petted her hair to soothe her. Dark circles formed around her eyes... and her lips turned a delicate blue... watching her, I wondered if that was what Takiko saw in me. I longed to excuse myself to her... apologies for the twice horrible sight... Hien... and me... blue and cold... and gone. Empty like a rag doll made of ice.

When the men came to claim the girl I stood at the cave entrance to greet them. They searched for her, and found her... and cried... and bundled her up... and carried her home... but one man stopped to stare at me. I wondered, how must I look? My eyes hollow, my lips blue... just like the girl's... my hair plastered to my face with sweat, grime clinging to my skin from the cave in, just as when I died... I felt like some sort of a monster.
Deep down, part of me wanted to keep the little girl. As a pet. Let her become mummified by cold... and then I could pet her hair... and not be alone... she would be one star in my night sky.When Hikitsu finally wandered in... alone... and dead... my mind was fading away... I would mutter to myself... and my lips felt bluer and bluer...

I collapsed into his arms and sobbed... like a little girl... utterly humiliating... but every time I tried to stop I'd choke on myself... and cry...

Blood from the gaping wound in his chest soaked into my coat... warm... my fingers touched the blood... slightly sticky... and alive...
My finger twitched. A star in my night sky.